Home Rewards and Positive Reinforcers for Kids with ADHD
September 10, 2012
by Sandra Rief
Adapted from Sandra’s books: The ADD/ADHD Checklist: A Practical Reference for Parents & Teachers, 2nd edition (2008), and How to Reach & Teach Children with ADD/ADHD, 2nd edition (2005), published by Jossey-Bass/Wiley.
Children with ADHD (who struggle with self-control and self-management), receive a disproportionate amount of negative interactions to positive inteactions from adults over the course of a day. They typically get far more reprimands, negative attention and critical feedback than most kids receive – which can be very demoralizing and damaging to their self-esteem. Parents and teachers often have their radar focused on the times the child is misbehaving, and frequently don’t notice or attend to the child when he or she is behaving appropriately.
It is important to notice when your child is demonstrating appropriate behavior, “catch them being good”, and reinforce that positive behavior – particularly being generous with your sincere praise and positive attention.
The following are some social, activity, and material rewards that you might consider in reinforcing your child’s positive behavior. Some of the activity and material reinforcers listed may be of interest when designing a motivating behavioral plan or incentive system for your son or daughter.
Social Reinforcers
- Positive attention from parents (preferably your undivided attention for even a short amount of time)
- Parents’ physical signs of affection (hugs, kisses, cuddles)
- Smiles, thumbs-up, high five, cheers
- Playful attention (piggyback ride, sharing jokes)
- Relaxed time together (talking, playing)
- Specific, sincere praise and recognition, such as:
- “That sure was grown up of you when . . . “
- “You should be so proud of yourself the way you…”
- “That was great the way you . . . “
- “I appreciate the good choice you made when…”
- “It makes me so happy to see you . . . “
- “I’m so proud of how you . . . “
- “That was so helpful when you…Thank you!”
- “I can really tell you worked hard on . . . “
- “I noticed how well you…”
- “I see the effort you put into that…”
- “Let’s make a copy of this for Grandma . . . “
- “Let’s hang this up somewhere special . . . “
- “Great job on how you . . . “
- “I can’t wait to tell Dad how you . . . “
- “I knew you could do it!”
A key behavioral approach for children with ADHD is to reinforce their positive behavior and reward their success in meeting goals. Find out what privileges, items, and activities your child would find valuable, and would be motivated to work towards earning. You might develop a “reward menu” together with your child. Be sure to change that menu as often as necessary to maintain your son or daughter’s interest.
Activity Reinforcers
- Playing a special indoor or outdoor game
- An outing (park, restaurant, arcade, beach, camping trip)
- Extended bedtime
- Extended curfew
- Earning extra time (for watching TV, computer/Internet access, playing games, riding bikes, listening to music, talking on the phone)
- Special time alone with parent (out for breakfast, shopping, ice cream, ball game, building something together)
- Freedom from chore(s)
- Craft project
- Drawing or painting
- Selecting a meal or restaurant for lunch or dinner
- Baking cupcakes, cookies, etc.
- Extra story/reading time with parent
- Going to a theater, sporting or special event
- Participating in a school activity that costs money (such as a dance, ski trip)
- Participating in sports activity or lessons of choice (for example, skating, bowling, martial arts, tennis)
- Gym membership
- Going shopping
- Driving privileges (parent driving to a place of child’s choice or keys to the car for teens with drivers’ licenses)
- Playing musical instruments
- Gymnastics, dance
- Club participation
- Watching a movie/DVD
- Playing computer games
- Spending time with a special person (grandparent, favorite aunt/uncle)
- Staying overnight at a friend or relative’s house
- Inviting a friend (to visit/play, for lunch/dinner, to sleep over, etc.)
Note: Some of these activities can also be considered social reinforcers.
Material Reinforcers
- Toys
- Arts/crafts supplies
- Collectibles (e.g., baseball cards)
- Snacks
- Books/magazines
- Games
- CDs and DVDs
- Clothing or accessories
- Puzzles
- Pets
- Tickets to movies or events
- Gift certificates
- Sports equipment
- Wanted items for the child’s room
- Electronics (various types)
- Money
- Any purchase of choice (within price range).
Note: Some reinforcers may be used for daily rewards/privileges (such as needing to earn TV or other screen time); some for weekly rewards (a movie rental or special activity on the weekend); and others for a privilege or item the child is working towards earning or saving up to purchase.
There are also online resources that you may be interested in exploring. Here are two programs for setting behavioral goals with your child, tracking progress and motivating with a variety of rewards:
1. A program called My Reward Board www.myrewardboard.com
2. An app for iPhones and iPads called iRewardChart: Parents Reward Tracker Behavior Chore chart, by Gotclues, Inc.
Tags: behavior, motivating positive behavior, positive reinforcers, rewards
